So this last week (and a half) has been pretty busy, but also quite introspective for me… I have quite liked the balance!

I have taken myself to hear music and sing along at Karaoke – the energy was fabulous with loads of people dressed up for Halloween. There is something about wearing a costume that seems to loosen people’s inhibitions, and that is fun to watch! The last few times I have gone to a different venue (my favourite host is at this one) and it’s fun to see the people that go there… it’s a completely different vibe to my local pub – but the joy of the music is the same!

I also took myself to the beach, which has felt a bit over due! The weather wasn’t the nicest – I’m glad I had a jumper with me- but the wild weather makes me feel alive! It helps to reinforce that in the grand scheme of life I have a tiny role in the universe, and that is something I really like. It kind of takes some of the pressure off that I put on myself, and just gives me a chance to breathe! It was also super lovey to reconnect with a friend while I was there!

To round out the weekend I went for a Vietnamese feast with some work friends.. and that was definitely a fun thing to do!! If you have never been I can 10/10 recommend a trip to Inala as the closest thing you can get to an overseas holiday without needing a passport! So many restaurant choices and not a bad one among them – at least not that I have come across! .. and I always leave there with bags of fruit and veggies… and usually one or two random new things to try!

In amongst all of that, I have also spent some time with myself. I’m not super sure what’s brought on the need for this introspection – probably some thinking about relationships and everything that has happened this year. The Peanut and the Squish both have birthdays at this time of year too, and that is hard! I struggle seeing the relationship that they have with their ‘other’ Grandpas – I love it for them, and it’s what it should be, but can’t help but think about Claytie and all that he is missing out on.

While my grief isn’t as raw as it used to be, it is still such a huge part of my world. I think it always will be, and that is a lot to get my head around. While there isn’t a timeline anywhere for how any of this should go, it does feel like society has an expectation that at some stage you will ‘get over it’ … and I don’t think that will happen at all! … anyway, that has all been part of my ruminating, and sometimes it is nice to just sit with it.

There are lots of great things to look forward to.. I have a trip coming up in about two weeks, two of my kids have also got big trips planned for the end of the year and that is exciting! The countdown is on for Christmas and all that comes with it (and then Hot Crossed buns on Boxing Day!) and hopefully the rain that has been almost constant for the last couple of weeks has cleared up and we can get into summer! Life is a wild ride… x