It’s funny how even this long after Claytie died there are things that catch you off guard and sting in unexpected ways.

This week I got an offer that I really shouldn’t refuse. My friend said that he would paint my front fence for me, because he has some time and it would look great. It is not the first time we have had the conversation, and the boys all agree it should be done. Colour is also not an issue, I know just what it should be! So really, anyone would think, that’s a no brainer, great offer and why not?!

For me it’s been something I have become stuck on. Initially I was really not sure why I wasn’t jumping at it, I’ve been pretty quick to make big decisions on other renovation things around the house, and it took some sitting and thinking to realise that it’s another change to a connection with Claytie.

Ever since we moved into this house, the front fence was a talking point for us. We had all kinds of plans and visions for it… Rendered brick pillars with timber panels, discussions around whether the slats should be horizontal of vertical, for a minute we looked at colourbond … there was no real urgency, and it was always in the too hard and too much money basket. Eventually Mother Nature made the call for us – there were not enough star pickets left to hold it up. Panels kept falling down onto the footpath every time the wind blew, and the decision was made to put up a new one.

I remember the weekend that we built the fence. I helped with demo and some supervising, and got a rotten sunburn, while Claytie and one of his best mates did the hard work. I have a whole lot of photos of the two of them digging holes, levelling posts and running string lines, I also remember a whole lot of swearing and laughing. It’s a really fond memory, and feels like it wasn’t all that long ago.

The other side of the front fence was done as part of my big renovation after Claytie died, so there is a whole lot of emotion caught up in it too. Our plan was always that the fence would be painted. It makes sense to preserve it! I can’t remember what colours we had talked about originally, but with what I have done since, the colour choice now makes sense.

It’s taken me a little bit of processing, but the fence is now being painted. I know it’s going to look fabulous – another (finally) finished project; and I am super grateful to my friend for doing a whole lot of hard work for me – I will get onto a brush when I get home from work (or at the weekend) so that I can say I had a hand in it too – just like the construction!- but it has been another reminder that grief is never far from the surface and will pop up in all kinds of random ways anytime it likes.