Last week was pretty ordinary in a whole lot of ways. Clayties anniversary was at the start of the week and it’s a really hard day every year. I think part of me thought that it would all get easier with time, but it hasn’t. It’s different now in a whole lot of ways, but just as hard as it was right at the beginning. I don’t sleep very well around all of these dates, and I am constantly replaying that day. I also think about all of the things that have happened in my world since then, and who I am now because of it. It’s an introspective time for me and absolutely part of the roller coaster.

We did have a really nice family dinner that night, and I think for the first time the boys seemed much more happy telling stories and laughing at memories…. And it definitely helped having the tiny humans there just being themselves and enjoying ‘Cat food’ casserole.

Adding to the difficulty of the week was the fact that my brand new car (2 weeks old!!) was involved in an altercation with another car. An elderly woman failed to give way at a round about and went straight into the side of my car. To say I was unhappy would be an understatement!!! I was not gracious or kind, and my language was not friendly! Thankfully the damage was minimal and was able to be fixed in only a few days, and I had organised to have access to a hire car in the interim through my insurance company.

The week did finish a whole lot better – which I am grateful for! I went to a comedy show with some widowed girlfriends. We had a fabulous dinner, great conversation and then laughed til our bellies hurt. It was a cup filling evening and I’m so glad to have these women in my world. It is a very different thing having conversations about our people with people who get the enormity of the loss, and just how much our lives have changed, because they are walking the same path.

And my favourite day this week was a glorious day in nature! My friend and I got up early – he did need some persuasion- and drove down to Cabarita to watch the sun come up. It was stunning! Mother Nature absolutely knows how to put on the best kind of show! The sky was crystal clear and the whales were playing. We also got to watch the local dolphins play in the surf. We followed it up with a drive down to Brunswick heads to catch up with some of his friends and spent the whole day enjoying ourselves.

Great food, good company, some grounding in nature… these are the things that make my soul happy and I am so grateful to have all of them readily available. There are a couple more yucky dates to face in the next week or so, but right now I’m feeling a bit more recharged and like I can do it.