So this week has been the highest level shit show that we have had for a long time. My mum had a heart attack on Monday. She is ok, and will be better once she has some surgery to fix the bits that aren’t working, but we have all been massively shaken and triggered.

The whole family are all being super positive. We know (once again) how lucky we have all been with what has happened. My sister was at home at the time to call the ambulance, it was a quiet day in the emergency department (I was working at the time). In the scheme of things, she did not have a long wait to be seen. We know that a she is in the best place for now and has fabulous health professionals looking after her; and when she is transferred to the cardiac specialty hospital for her surgery, she will again be in the best hands possible. They do this stuff all the time and know exactly what they are doing. For all of us tho, it’s new and scary.

To have my mum going through such a full on thing has given us all a massive fright. She is the true matriarch in our family, and is the strongest person I know – she is not the one that this shit happens to. She has been the person the boys and I have all turned to since Claytie died, and has been the one holding everyone together. The ‘what-if’s’ going through everyone’s minds are a challenge, but luckily for us we are a fabulously close family – we know that she – and the rest of us have got this and that she will be fine!

For the boys this has been an extra challenge. Two of them were at home when Claytie died and had to help with CPR and letting people know. We have all seen first hand the ‘could have been’, and none of us have recovered from that! Then, earlier this year, in middle of the drama that happened to my family at Christmas, someone who was very close to us had a ‘turn’. At the time the boys were told it was either a heart attack or a stroke and was being investigated. That is all the information they were given and they were all incredibly concerned. We have since found out that it was a stress/panic attack and that the person is fine… but for the boys it was really scary to be given such news and then nothing further. In fact we were all actively excluded from the entire situation and that has damaged the relationship enormously.

This time, with my mum, it is a very different thing. All of the information is being shared – possibly more that she would like, and no questions are off the table! The boys are all really shaky, but we’re hanging in there. It’s hard for me as their mum, to put on a brave face when it is my mum in trouble. We’re all doing our best to prop each other up, but I’m not going to lie and say that it is easy! We are all on the edge of our seats to find out when her surgery will happen – some time early next week is what we have been told. Waiting for things to happen is always a challenge, but we know that the staff are dotting i’s and crossing t’s to make sure it all goes smoothly!

Mama is in reasonably good spirits – but I am pretty sure my lack of patience comes from her! She has decided that she working on a hospital based murder mystery, and hopes it will lead to some speculation as they put her under anaesthetic -she thinks she will talk out loud and drop all kinds of bizarre hints. My uncles suggestion of getting her a cone (the kind a dog would wear) to stop her licking her wounds post surgery is also being considered – we’re just not sure how that will go down in ICU (haha).

We’re all doing our best to make the best of a yucky situation, and we’re absolutely hanging on to the luck that we have had! I’m not really one for talking to god, but am not opposed to good vibes being sent her way, and if thoughts and prayers are your thing, we’ll take those too! Cross everything you have for us, and I will keep you posted on how it all goes x