So this week I had thought about and was definitely contemplating a more serious post…..Tomorrow morning I’m flying out to Malaysia – anxiety is peaking! It’s my wedding anniversary – it should be 27 years, but instead it is now two years without the most important person in my world… huge ANXIETY!!!

But I kind of talked about all of those things last week, and then Saturday night happened and that is absolutely worth telling about! … and sorry to those of you who have already heard this story during my need to debrief!

Recently I have been on some very random dates. I have for the most part enjoyed myself and have no real complaints other that it is super difficult to find someone that you connect with at the right level. There really are ALL kinds of people out there! How fussy do you let yourself be before it becomes ridiculous!? Is it that they didn’t stand up or kiss you hello? Or that they were entirely too touchy-feely? Is the look of someone’s hair or hands a reason not to go on a second date even though you spent several very enjoyable hours together over drinks and dinner!? Shaved legs, too hairy? Sneakers and longer socks? Does the way someone chews their food really matter? Jeans and thongs for a dinner date? How much communication is too much and screams unwanted commitment? A lot of it feels very very shallow, but I guess if they were the right person then those things wouldn’t matter.

Some things tho really, really matter! Last Saturday night I went on a VERY blind date with a guy I’d been chatting to who seemed reasonably well educated and well spoken. We hadn’t exchanged pictures, so I had no idea what he looked like but there were no real red flags at that stage as to why not to meet up …the time and place were organised, happily for me following on from a super enjoyable day catching up with my Uni girlfriends.

I Ubered to the designated spot and realised much too late that a photo should really be a compulsory check before meeting! I hate to say I’m so shallow that looks absolutely matter, but sometimes they do! Turns out there was a reason he did not show me his pictures ahead of time – think Montgomery Burnes from the Simpsons!!! The teeth, nose, hair… liver spots! It was all there – and too late at that stage to turn around!

I was greeted with a handshake – new for me on a date! We went for a drink and had a hugely enlightening conversation – the fellow is very firmly entrenched in the BDSM scene, and was looking for a submissive partner for his activities. Not what I had been expecting, but I thought why not find out all of the information I’ve ever wanted to know about such things! I channeled my inner Louis Theroux – a journalist and documentary film maker who I think is fabulous (look him up for those that have not heard his name before!) … Not sure old Monty knew quite what hit him, but he was very indulgent as I honestly asked at least a million questions – I feel like I am doing research for a book!!

I got educated! … questions asked and answered… some further ‘studying’ (?) to do, and my little mind exploding! Following the interrogation and perhaps to give himself a breather haha, he took me to an adult entertainment place in Brunswick street – he told me kind of what it would be like, and at that stage and so many questions in, I thought why not!? Downstairs is a sex toy shop and upstairs a combination of Peepshow rooms, glory holes and all manner of surfaces to use as required! I was given a tour and had all sorts of things explained to me (diagrams not necessary as the demonstrations were live!) … I’m not sure what I was expecting, certainly not this! – but it was definitely an interesting evening!

I’m not sure either of us got what we expected from this encounter, and I can guarantee there wont be a repeat, but I can’t say I’m sorry it happened. My number one takeaway from all of this tho is that you should definitely ask for a current photo, possibly have a more sane exit strategy, and if all else fails a very long list of questions to ask!


  1. Rachel Davies says:

    Omg I had to Google BDSM … you’re so kind staying on the date 😂🤣🤯 what a classic .. i would’ve ran as fast as I could have at the first mention 🤮

    Liked by 1 person

    1. robbieja says:

      Haha… it was pretty funny actually! I think the dude was almost disappointed that I didn’t react differently!


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