I recently read a book that I wish had come my way last year. I plan on buying several more copies of it to give to people that I think need to read it. It is called ‘The Hot Young Widows Club’ by Nora McInerny. It could 100% be my story, although it’s not just about grieving the loss of a spouse. It is a book that everyone should read. At some point in our lives we are all going to lose significant people, and that loss rearranges the way you look at everything.

I know that the process of grieving is so very different for every single person, and yet we kind of all do the same thing. It has been absolutely the hardest, strangest thing I’ve ever had to go through… and it has no end date. I have constantly surprised myself with the things I have done and felt on this journey. In some cases I have managed an absolute reversal of opinions that I thought were firmly mine and come out on the side that I have previously disparaged. I have done things I never could have imagined ‘before’. And I very much define myself as ‘before’ and ‘after’. I have met people that have only come into my world because of my loss, but now that they are part of my world, I can’t imagine not knowing them. Each day is a new coming to terms with my life now, and I consciously try to chose what I want that to look like – albeit not always successfully!

This book for me is one that I wish I could have had before our world imploded. It’s almost like a ‘what to expect’ guide and has been completely accurate or me. It should be handed out at funerals for people to understand the enormity of what the death of their person actually means. I can imagine it would be invaluable for the family of someone with a terminal diagnosis in palliative care. It is feelings and advice and it speaks the kind of sense that seems to disappear along with the person who died. It has validated my experience til now and I know that it will still be true for me in the future.

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