So this whole dating process has been weird not only for me, but also for the boys. I have been quite open and upfront with them about where I’m at and what I’m doing. I have talked to them individually and we have spoken as a group more than once on this subject at our Monday night Family Dinners. They know that I am doing a bunch of different things to keep busy and they roll their eyes at most of my stories. I haven’t told them ALL of the stories at this point, obviously, but they know the basics.
They all have such different personalities, and it’s been interesting for me to see them go through all of this stuff – grief, life, covid etc as well. There are a couple that are quite happy to talk things through with me (different boys on different subjects) and others that just don’t want to talk at all – that’s much harder for me because I am such a talker. I know which ones I can push for a response, and I know who is better with little bits of information passed on periodically. Overwhelmingly tho, they have all been incredibly understanding, supportive and just plain fabulous! – obviously keeping in mind that they are man/children and this can’t be the case 100% of the time!
The main concern that they seem to have around my social life, is around dinner and whether or not I have cooked for them before I go out, especially on a trivia night which is Tuesday. If there is food prepped and ready to go, they lose interest very quickly! They don’t seem to mind too much on a Friday (karaoke for me) because they are usually heading out too! Now that there is also dating in the mix, I do get some raised eyebrows! – where are you going, what are you doing and is it with the same person!? – For the record, it has been the same person for several weeks now- a rollercoaster for me that I have mentioned previously!
Up until now, the dates have all been ‘acceptable’ for them to get their heads around… I go out for a few hours and then I come home. Day time/night time it’s all been good, no real questions asked. I’ve been for lunches, drinks, dinners, movies – yes… for the first time since 2012 I went to see a movie! Still not really my thing, but I had a lovely time and will happily do it again! I’ve enjoyed myself hugely, and in typical me fashion have had the whole range of emotions to go with it … excitement, tears and snot, butterflies – it’s been fun!
In the last little while I also had my first sleep-over date! I mentioned to the boys that I wasn’t sure if I would come home or stay the night, depending on how I was feeling and if I was going to have a drink with dinner. It’s an hour for me to drive home so that was a concern late at night, but I also wasn’t sure how I would feel staying – it’s another big first… nerves are a very real thing! I packed a little bag just in case and did my usual ‘behave, be safe, be sensible and make good choices’ spiel for the boys that were at home. Quick as a flash, and without hesitation, I got back ‘be safe, use protection and don’t do anal cause god is watching!’ … to say I nearly choked would be an understatement!!
It seems that the boys (one in particular) are much more comfortable with this whole thing than I have given them credit for! Apparently I have also raised animals! Who says that to their mother for goodness sake!?!? Haha! I am now nervously anticipating what will happen when/if they actually meet the gentleman in question, something I think is still a little while off happening! He has indicated that he is also nervous about meeting ‘my people’ which is understandable given where we’re all at!…. Watch this space I guess to see what happens next!