I have always been a reader rather than a watcher of things. I don’t especially enjoy television or movies, I would much much rather have my nose in a book. Claytie used to get quite annoyed with me, because to this day I still haven’t watched two of his absolute favourite films – ‘Notting Hill’ and ‘Hunt for the Wilder people’…. I can’t tell you how many times he watched Julia and Hugh. He knew that movie inside out and back to front, their love song is on high rotation on my playlist, and we used it in the photo slideshow at his funeral. As for the Wilder people, the movie is saved, unwatched by me, on my Foxtel box. It had been on tv not long before he died, and he told me that we would watch it together. He asked me to sit and watch it with him countless times, telling me how good it is…. And it’s not that I didn’t believe him, I just didn’t want to, and now I don’t think I can.

Anyway, that’s not where this post is supposed to be going!…. I was heading in the direction of trivia! I love a good quiz show – millionaire hotseat is usually on in the background when I’m making dinner, and at the risk of sounding smug, I’m pretty good with the answers. I credit all of my reading with having a reasonable general knowledge. I’ve been to several trivia nights through the kids school and have always had a good time (alcohol involved has seen me dance on a table on at least one occasion!)

So here is where two worlds collide…. I was chatting to a very nice fellow online and there was a connection of sorts, although he seemed reluctant to actually meet in person despite telling me how keen he was. At the same time, a conversation with some friends made through my widows support group, culminated with a planned dinner outing to a hotel on the east side of brisbane, that happened to have a trivia night on the day we planned to catch up… three guesses who our host was for the evening!?

After a somewhat lengthy drive, not helped by a fight with my gps – everyone knows that I am incredibly directionally challenged and not great at driving 1) where I don’t know and 2) in the dark – I managed to get there and meet the ladies, that I had only met once before! We stood out the front and immediately one of them said (and I will quote for accuracy!) “oh for fucks sake, how bloody cliched…. We’re all wearing black!” The only logical choice at this point was to call our group the Black Widows!

In we went, dinner and drinks ordered, and conversation happening. It’s kind of a funny thing that I have found with the support group, you don’t really know these people all that well, but you are immediately comfortable to have hard conversations. There is such a level of shared trauma – even though everyone’s story is different, that you don’t need to do the weird getting to know you stuff that normally happens with strangers.

Trivia started, the host and I having recognised each other and agreeing to a drink after the contest, the ladies laughing and giving me a hard (funny) time. The questions were varied and hard, and an entire round of 10 questions about boxing, put a boot in my smug bum and saw the black widows come dead last!…. Turns out we’re pretty crap at pub trivia! But we had a lot of laughs and a great time!

Trivia finished, and after a last round of wink, wink, nudge, nudge from the ladies, it was my turn for a proper conversation with Mr Trivia. By this point in time I wasn’t at all nervous, but possibly should have been! Once again I have learned something unexpected! Mr Trivia is polyamorous: (polyamorous/ˌpɒlɪˈam(ə)rəs/adjective: characterised by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.) …. Not what I was expecting!

Once we established (very clearly) that this is not something of interest to me, we actually had a really lovely chat. He was also quite happy to answer the 5million questions that I bombarded him with! I think we spoke for about three hours before the long drive home (in my case) made it time to leave. A fabulous hug in the car park, and with my mind overloaded with information, I left my new friend and went home!

I have been back to trivia several times since that day – and you’ll be pleased to know that the Black Widows are getting better each time. I have also had more conversations with Mr Trivia. He is a very interesting man, and I wish him and his partner(s) a long and happy life together. His lifestyle is not the new next I’m looking for, but I have made a new friend – and you can never have too many of those!