Can you believe that we are now in December?! This year has just flown by, and I am sure the next couple of weeks will as well!

I have had a very busy few days with the start of the Christmas season. On Friday night I went to my first Christmas party, and it was lovely! It was for the Widows group, and it was really nice to catch up with a whole bunch of people who mean a whole lot to me! Some are faces that I see regularly at the monthly catch ups, but others are much less often. Some of them were very new, which is both lovely (I’m glad that they found the group, I know how helpful it has been for me)… and awful because they had to lose their person to be part of it! It’s always nice to see all of these people, and to offer support where it is needed. Big dates like Christmas can be super hard without your person, and it’s nice to have people in your world who absolutely understand that.

Saturday night I was invited to attend a movie premiere – a black tie event, and a first for me! My friend J and I went together and had a great time! One of the staff at the hotel we go to every week for trivia has been working on this production for the last two years. He wrote, produced and directed it, and is rightfully incredibly proud of his work. He invited a bunch of us from trivia (not just our team, but others and some of his colleagues well) to come along, and it was fun…. And let’s face it, any chance to get glammed up is great! The movie is in the style of David Lynch and they have plans to take it to a bunch of film festivals… I wish them all the luck with their project!

Then on Sunday I got to go to a birthday party! – probably my favourite event for the whole weekend! The Squish has turned three and celebrated in a local park with a bunch of his day care friends. It was all a bit overwhelming for him – he doesn’t much love being the Center of attention, but a good time was had nonetheless! I can’t believe that three years have passed since he arrived in our world. It is impossible to put into words how much joy he has brought for all of us!

This week I start in my new role at work. I am looking forward to it, it will be nice to learn some new things and mix with people who are new to me, but there is always that hint of anxiety! I struggle with change – even when I am the instigator of it- and I would really just love a hug and a ‘you’ve got this’ from Claytie! He was always my biggest cheerleader and I miss him enormously!

There is always a tinge of sadness with everything that I do… and at the end of each day, Claytie is the person I most want to tell about all of it! … I kind of do I guess. I journal every night before I go to sleep, as a kind of conversation with him, but him not being there never gets easier! Sometimes I can hear what he would have to say about things, and I can imagine how he would feel, but mostly it’s just a big fat hole in my world… any way, it is what it is, and will be what it will be…at least that’s what I am sure he would say!