On Friday of last week I attended a First Light Widowed event. This one was a one day event – in the past they have been several days over a weekend, but due to funding difficulties (widowhood is not a sexy thing to raise money for, even tho it is desperately needed) this year the organisation reduced the conference to one day events that they have taken to different cities.

I have always really enjoyed these conference events. I have connected with a whole bunch of people, and met some of my closest friends here. I have found them to be incredibly helpful and reassuring and would absolutely recommend them to anyone who is widowed, especially for those whose grief is band new. This time for me was a bit different, and I was surprised by that.

This time, and I think for the first time, I have seen how far I have come since Claytie died. I felt like a whole lot of the content of the conference was not really that useful to me anymore because I have moved through it, and on from it. Its was mostly targeted at those widows whose journey is just starting. It’s a bit of a weird feeling to be honest, because half the time I’m still a complete mess!

I think I’m always going to want to attend the events, but maybe next time I will do it as a volunteer (or maybe as a presenter again). It’s a nice feeling to be able to give back, and perhaps give hope to a newly widowed person the same way that I found hope when I first went. The community and the support are something that you can only get from people who are walking a similar path to you, and I am incredibly grateful to have found this group.