So today was one of those days that came with a hard slap.

I had some stuff to fix with my pool … in the last little while I’ve had a leak, which has been fixed, but it’s been a bit of a mission to get it back to clean. The pool was always Clayties thing to fix, so it’s been a learning curve to figure it all out. It’s probably not actually that hard, but it’s just something else I have had to take on since he died. I have spent a whole lot of time and money on it in the last few years… chemicals, new pump, new cleaner etc.

I went to get the water tested the other day and was told that it looked like maybe the chlorinator was not working properly, and to bring it in to get looked at. Should be simple… right?! I took out the part that I thought they needed (with some help from my dad!) and the guys in the shop kind of laughed at me… I had only given them half of what they needed. Back home, and some more wrangling to get the other bit. In the car again to drop it off… luckily the shop isn’t too far away, but still a nuisance. I was told it would probably take a couple of days… no drama.

Home again… and onto the rest of the chores that happen when I have a day off. I had just sat down with a cuppa, when my phone pinged with an incoming message – and the slap…. Hi Clayton and Robbie, your item is ready for collection.

It is always such a shock and surprise now when something comes that is addressed to Claytie. I know it’s not done intentionally – I had asked them to change the details in their system to be just mine, and mostly that has been the case, but not today.

It feels a little bit like a set back? … you catch your breath and there is a bit of a lag in your brain as you go through a kind of ‘is he here, no he isn’t, he died’ reset. It’s not that you’ve forgotten, you can’t… but there’s a bit of a glitch that happens, and it brings the sadness back to the front. It’s not something I can fix or change, and I think it will always happen in a situation like that….and it is always unexpected!

Anyway, once I sorted myself out – of course there were tears! I went back to the pool shop and found out that the chlorinator was not actually broken, it was just on the wrong setting! … maybe the whole thing was a message from Claytie!