I had a conversation with someone new to my circle the other day about how much of a role Claytie still plays in my world. I think a lot of people think that when a person dies everything kind of just stops… and maybe for some people that is the case!? I know that most of the widowed people in my world still have a relationship with their person – it’s just very very different now.

For me, journaling every night is like a conversation with Claytie just before I go to bed. I tell him about my day, the boys and just what ever else is happening in my world. I have been doing it since about a week after he died and it’s a huge thing for me now. Music for me is another way of communicating with him… I know that sounds a bit weird, but stay with me!

I have a huge playlist that I listen to all the time… there are all kinds of things in there, and I add more to it all the time. I love to sing along in the car or at home… and it’s part of my ‘conversations’ with Claytie. I often talk aloud to him and if I have questions, I get answers in the form of the songs that play (the list is shuffled and random) There are songs that for me have particular meanings, and others that will have an answer that I maybe wasn’t expecting…. And often when I’m feeling sad, exactly the right song will play and it’s almost like getting a hug.

This weekend was full of music and interesting people for me; great conversations and a really happy energy and it’s been a huge lift – even with the very very late nights involved. Friday night was karaoke with a new friend.. I love it – it’s been a thing for at least 4 years pretty regularly now, but was also a source of happiness before Claytie died. I love the energy in the room, and the people watching is fabulous! The crowd is always super varied, and I love trying to predict and being surprised by the song choices. Good conversation with an interesting person was an added bonus!

I have also discovered a new happy place.. Doo-bop bar in Brisbane city. It has been around for a little while, but is new for me. It’s a hole in the wall piano bar where they play all the music that everyone knows and people joyfully sing along and dance their hearts out! A couple of girlfriends and I went on Saturday night and it was such a fun night out!!

I love having new adventures and I love when that involves music and happy, joyful energy! It is an absolute boost and it usually stays with me for a while.