It seems weirdly appropriate to publish this post on International Widows day. A ‘day’ where the United Nations acknowledges and examines the plight of widowed women all over the world in many different cultures, and not one that is likely to be celebrated in the media. It is also one that I would prefer not to be quite so intimately involved with!

The theme for this years day is: Beyond Grief, Rebuilding Lives, Strengthening Communities and Challenging Stigma, and for me personally, this blog and the support I have had from all of you, has helped me to do some of those things.

In my mind, before my life changed so completely, I had always thought of widowed people as being old – my grandparents generation. Death happened to those who were in their 80-90’s, and sometimes to unlucky ‘others’. It was absolutely not something I was expecting to happen in my world and certainly not at age 46!

Becoming a widow has changed every part of my life. It has changed how I think about the past, how I feel in the present, and it has absolutely changed how I look at my future. It is a blink of an eye moment that has impacted every single part of my world. It is a shock that you don’t and can’t recover from.

I have been incredibly lucky to have amazing people in my life who have helped me ‘keep it together’ and I have been even more lucky that financial security has not been something I have had to worry about excessively – which is not something that all widowed people have. I found a community, a support group who truly understands this new life. I have made incredible friendships, and met people that have changed my world again and for the better; and I am beyond grateful to have found my voice, and an outlet to use it, to talk about how this grief journey has changed my life.

Today I just want to say a really big thank you to all of you who follow this blog, and let me indulge in my weekly word vomit! I appreciate all of the love and support that you have given me over the last almost 5 years since Claytie died. This blog has been my therapy, and rather than just the funny dating stories that it was supposed to be, it has also allowed me to process a whole lot of thoughts, feelings, and memories (and the occasional travel run down). It’s been a bit of an anchor… sitting down and transforming my emotions into paragraphs and then sharing those with you; and when I am unsure of myself it helps to look back at some of the earlier posts to see how far I have come.

So, again… thank you for being in my world. Thank you for the support and the love. I know that the boys and I are all so much better for having you in our lives XX