This week has been a bit bumpy for me. It was Mother’s Day, and for a whole lot of reasons this one hit differently and made me sad. I miss Claytie, the person who made me a mum…. I miss the way that he made a fuss (or his version of making a fuss) because the boys absolutely do not… it’s ok, that’s who they are and if it was really a drama, I could speak up about it, but this year it just hit hard. They are also not great at birthdays, so it’s been a bit of a double whammy in that regard.

This week was also my parents wedding anniversary. 52 years which is absolutely something to celebrate – but also makes me sad because mine stopped at 25. I’m jealous that it is not something I will ever get to, This year would be another milestone anniversary for Claytie and I and missing out on that (and so many other things) has been playing on my mind too… it’s one of those things where it is everything piled on all at once, and sometimes you just get that!

Outside of those things tho, I’m actually in a pretty good place. I’m feeling really comfortable in my own skin and I haven’t for a long time. I said last week that part of me is still waiting for that to change, but I’m starting to trust it more and more. Even the down days haven’t felt as heavy as they have in the past and I’m proud of myself for knowing how to sit with them and process the feelings.

I am expecting some more rough days coming up tho. The father of one of the boys girlfriends is very unwell and does not have a good prognosis. It’s been very triggering not just for that son but actually all of us. We know how hard it is and what it looks like for her family. We are all sending so much love their way x