So this week I am kind of following on a little bit from last week – talking about this blog. One of my friends messaged me after reading last weeks post, kind of concerned that I refer to my new person only by his initial, or simply as my new person. She thought that for someone so important in my world to only be referred to by an initial, was perhaps disrespectful or maybe a concern. It is absolutely not that, but I thought that I should explain why I do that to all of you who are following along too.

For me, not using people’s names has been an intentional choice that I made right at the beginning of telling my story. The only people that are actually referred to by name are those that have died. It is a way to remember them, to keep them real.

I actually have a couple of reasons for not using anyone else’s names, and they are quite deliberately thought out. Firstly,  this is my story – obviously I am not alone in my world – there are so many of you that are part of it, but I am the central character. It is my story, from my perspective, my feelings and my process with grief. Different people play different roles at various times, but it is my story, so that is where I want to keep the focus.

The second reason is that it is really important to me to protect the privacy of the people that I do talk about in my story. Not everyone who reads this blog needs to have all of the details of all of the people involved; and not everyone I refer to is happy to have their comment, story, idea or wherever else it might be shared in such an obvious way. Often it takes a while for me to ruminate of something that has happened or been said before I decide to write about it, and the other person or people involved don’t even remember what it was that got said. – And my kids would most definitely not be impressed at being named – as it is, they think I am entirely too weird with all the things I do!

Not using someone’s name is in no way meant to disrespect them, or to minimise their role in my world. I am so very lucky to have so many amazing people that love and support me, and I can say with 100% certainty that this journey would have been so much harder without the encouragement and grounding that I get from you. Sometimes it would be a whole lot easier to use people’s names rather then circling around them, but for me it would take something away from what all of this is for me – a way to clear my head and process what I am feeling.