This week I have spent a whole lot of time preparing for the presentation I am doing with my friend at Camp Widow next weekend. For those of you that don’t know, Camp Widow is a three day conference held every year by the First Light Widows association, a support group I am part of.

It feels like a weird thing talking to people outside of the widowed community, about a camp for widows. I think a lot of people imagine that there is a whole lot of weeping, wailing and anguish… and while there is some of that, there is also a whole lot of connection, understanding and support as well as laughing (we are experts at black humour).

It is a chance for widowed people to get together and mix with others who get where they are at. It is three full days of workshops, panel discussions and community. All of the presenters and panel member are themselves widowed and know the journey we are all on. This will be my third year attending this conference and I am looking forward to it. Each year I have taken something different away from it, and I know things year will be the same.

My friend J and I put our hands up to speak not long after last years conference. She hosts one of the catch up groups that I go to, and while we are very different people, we do think alike in a whole lot of ways. I’m pretty nervous about presenting to the group. It will be a 90 minute workshop for around 50ppl. The things that we are talking about are all things that I use in my life every day. I have found them helpful and hope they help others as well. … guess we will see!!- (I’ll share the presentation on here next week)

A friend recently told me when I was telling them about it, that I shouldn’t mention this at all, but I’m currently working around a small matter of ‘imposter syndrome’ while preparing for this. It’s a feeling of not being entirely qualified and not being confident standing up in front of a crowd. His advice was to pretend everyone in the room is naked so that I wouldn’t be as nervous… I’m not sure that will be any help at all!!!

As well as the presentation that we are doing, I have also been asked to moderate a table discussion group for people whose person died of heart related issues. This is one of the sessions held over the weekend for people to connect with others whose journey is similar. There are tables for all kinds of scenarios and the sheer number of tables is quite overwhelming! I’m actually almost more nervous about this one than standing up in front of a much bigger group, because it is much closer to heavy grief. I have sat at this table in previous years and shared my story as well as listening to those of others, and it’s hard… having done it before tho, I know just how helpful it can be to have other people know and absolutely understand what has happened to you.

Ironically I’ll be attending the funeral of a friends mum just before I head in to Camp, and it is a reminder that loss is such a big part of life. Big love to you all for the week. Thanks for sharing my journey and being part of my world x