This week I had a widow support group catch up, and it’s the first one I have been to in a little while. I am really glad I went, I think I needed it. Often I get caught up in whatever is happening in my world and don’t realise how much I need the connection with these people that really get me. This time I was able to introduce a newly widowed friend to the group, it was her first time coming to something like it. I’m not sure if she will come again or if it is not her thing at all, but I’m really glad she came.

For me, going to the catch ups has always been a really validating thing to do. You meet people at varying points in their grief journey and they all understand the things that you are going through. Sometimes it is really great to get advice and sometimes you are able to give it. Sometimes it’s just about sitting with a person and giving them space, other times it’s just a lovely time chatting with different people about all kinds of things. I usually find that I connect with someone and the things that are happening for them truly resonate with me and I walk away from it feeling reassured and hopeful.

We all share the heavy load of grief and the confusion that comes along with it. There are hard things around friends and family, and just figuring out who you are post loss. There are life admin things and then there are the moving forward stories around dating and re-partnering. There is always someone who has been where you are, and it is reassuring to hear their take on it all.

My friend was not the only new person this week. We had an older gentleman come for this first time and he was quite nervous. I think he was a little bit disappointed that there weren’t any other men at this weeks catch up. We do have several men that often come along, but it is generally a much more female group that attends. I think as women we are just much better at sharing our feelings with others. It actually makes me quite sad, because all of the men I have spoken with have exactly the same feelings, its just somehow not ok for them to share. – Anyway, I had a really lovely time chatting with the new guy and hearing his story. He and his wife have known each other since she was 12 – 9 years before they married and then 51 years together. He stayed for lunch with us and then left, but messaged our organiser not long after to say thank you – and to let her know that it had been his wedding anniversary that day. I’m so glad that he came along and was able to talk about his person and share her with us. I hope he comes again and does get to meet some of the men in the group (there are a couple of them that I really think would get along well).

This week my friend and I will be putting in some work to get our presentation sorted out for Camp Widow in May. Im starting to get excited for it, but also nervous. It feels like a pretty big deal to stand up in front of a room full of people and talk about the things that have helped me in my grief journey. I know how much I have benefitted from listening to speakers in previous years, and from the group as a whole, and I just want to get it right. It feels like a big responsibility in a whole lot of ways – wish me luck!