This week has been a very quiet one for me. I have been a bit unwell and have spent a whole lot of time wallowing in bed. It’s actually been quite nice to be honest, but I am getting a bit sick of myself and am looking forward to some more beach time coming up when I feel better.

I did meet someone this week whose story brought home again to me just how quickly the life that we know can change. Their person died in a home invasion at the end of last year. This person witnessed the entire event and was also badly hurt in the process. Their home was a crime scene for several days and their children were left to be looked after by neighbours while one parent went to hospital and the other to the morgue. I can’t begin to imagine what that must be like, or how you try and put your life back together after.

In our case ‘mother nature’ was responsible for Claytie dying. A devastating part of life for us, but somehow easier to justify. He had a heart attack. His heart stopped working and he died because that is what nature intended for him. It doesn’t hurt any less, but I can kind of reconcile it in my head. In the case of this family another person broke into their home and used a weapon to kill someone. Something so senseless it is almost impossible to get your head around; and for them the grief process is much less straight forward (and I use that term very very loosely) because they will still have years of court cases and legal matters ahead of them before any kind of justice happens.

I know that grief is not a contest. For everyone that has lost a person, it is the worst thing that has and could ever happen. I would give anything to have Claytie back and for our story to have a different out come, but sometimes you hear about someone else and it just makes you think how much harder things can be. Meeting and hearing this persons story has once again shown me how lucky we have been. I don’t often let myself go to the ‘what if’s’ because I can’t change anything that has happened, but I am so grateful that things happened how they did for us.

I have met a few people now whose person died at the hands of another, and each time hearing it is a shock. It’s the sort of thing you read in the paper or hear in the news, not from and about someone you have met. It almost feels like it can’t be real and I don’t know how the survivors keep going.

Life and death are really hard. We have no control over what gets thrown at us, all we can control is how we react to it. For me finding things to be grateful for has been super helpful. Sometimes those things are easier to see than others, but for me there has always been something. This week I am grateful to have met a new person to include in my circle. I’m grateful to know that a hug can help someone to feel better for a moment and that kindness costs nothing and can mean everything. I’m also grateful to have a job that gives me sick leave so I can wallow at home – and for delivery drivers that will drop stuff at your door when you just want some junk food to make you feel better.