This week has been another big one at work… 7 full shifts, and 3 of those were night shifts. I have to tell you, they have not gotten better or easier! The lack of sleep and changes to the circadian rhythm’s are brutal, and some of the traumas I have seen this week have been really really hard, but I’m surviving and I am thrilled to say that from next week my roster is changing. Happily -and very lucky for me and my perseverance, I am able to swap to a part time role. It will mean a cut in my pay, but honestly, the extra days off are worth so much more to me than anything else.

I was able to finish this week with a really sensational weekend away with some of my widowed friends. One of my friends offered to pick me up and drive me – something I very happily accepted after Night Shift, and off we went. We went to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show down at the Gold Coast. Those of you that know me particularly well will know that I don’t really do movies (even the ones that ‘everyone’ has seen!) and wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Rocky Horror is not one I have seen before. This was all new territory for me! .. I loved it!

I loved that people got dressed up as the characters, and that the true aficionados knew all the lines and played along with the actors! It was a whole lot of fun and I’m really glad I went, but I have to say that it was not actually the highlight of the weekend for me! My favourite part of this weekend happened after the show, when we went into the casino for a drink and a dance.

Four of us were standing between the bar and the dance floor chatting and people watching, when a friendly looking man in a funky bucket hat walked past me holding a blow up doll – no, not that kind! The doll was just a bit bigger than a soft drink bottle and had someone’s face printed in it. As he walked past I asked him “whose your mate?”. He stopped, and told us the most lovely story…

There is a whole group of guys from Sydney who celebrate the end of soccer season every year (some of them have done this for 40 years) by coming up to the Gold Coast for a Boys Weekend. It’s all planned out with a golf day, a race day and a pool and relax day. One of their mates Bob (not his actual name, as he has not given me permission to use it) , was supposed to come, but couldn’t because he was in hospital having cancer surgery. They decided that the trip would not be the same without Bob, so it was his face on the blow up doll. They spent the weekend with Bob taking all sorts of photos, in all kinds of scenarios with all kinds of people, and sending them to him in hospital to cheer him up, something that we all thought was such a nice thing to do.

We got talking, and mentioned our story – that we are all widows and that Bob had landed in a safe space with us. We had the most fun night chatting and dancing and introducing our new friend Bob to anyone else that walked past us. It was such a lovely and thoughtful thing for these guys to do and it was an awesome way to talk with new and interesting people (note to self, if you want an easy and fun night out, bring a prop to encourage conversation!)

The widow conversation was also interesting. It feels like people are often surprised when we go out as a group and it becomes known that we have all lost someone so significant to us. People just don’t know what to say, and there is almost a sense of confusion that we should be laughing and having a good time. I think a lot of people still have an idea in their heads that Widows should be dressed in black and sit at home being sad. That’s not how it works, and we all know that that is not what our people would want for us. I’m pretty sure that Claytie would be disappointed in me if I shut myself away and didn’t live my life fully.

I keep that thought in the back of my head all the time, and try to make the most of the things that life throws my way. This weekend is a perfect example of that! Cocktails by the pool, a fabulous stage show to watch, a swim in the ocean, fresh prawns by the beach, and awesome people for company. It’s hard not to be grateful for that.

Obviously I miss Claytie and wish that he was the one doing all of these things with me, but I am so glad that I have people (both friends who knew Claytie and my new widowed friends) who are happy to embrace the idea of living life to the full and making new memories. With the upcoming change to my roster, and having more days off I am looking forward to adding to my adventures and seeing what life sends my way next.